85 Broads Baruch

I was fortunate to discuss this topic with a very inspiring individual, Yusef Kassim. He worked in Goldman Sachs’ sales and trading division after college, currently is a senior member in investor relations at Eton Park, and sits on the governing board at New York Needs You. I thought of him not only as an exceptional Teacher, but also someone who knows how to motivate. And that is an extraordinary talent.

I told Yusef that I was getting lost in the conventional model of making it in life. I believed that it was missing something. And I was missing that something as well. He broke it down simply.

1. Establish a network of individuals who are achieving similar goals as you.
2. Make a lasting impression on one or more individuals who take interest in your aspirations. (Perhaps they like your ethics, motivation, drive).
3. Deliver a nurtured character.
4. Build your passion on inspiration.

So, the question remains…How do you build inspiration?

We can allow this to fluctuate, but since we are talking about genius ideas, let’s examine the one Yusef shared with me.

• Download at least 5 songs that get you going.
• Find 1-2 pictures that inspire you. Perhaps it was a family member who went through an incredibly difficult journey in life. Maybe it’s a celebrity activist who is your role model.
• Clean your room. It’s not agony. Really. (Talane Miedaner, the author of one of my favorite books, “Coach Yourself to Success” noted cleaning and uncluttering your space as a first rule in creating positive changes in your life.)
• Go to a workout.

Try to combine these steps together and it will send your energy through the roof. You will be astonished at how differently you will write that email, complete a paper, or walk out of the interview for your coveted job.

Building inspiration is the core of it all. It will help you find your passions. It will attract exceptional people to you. Are you still skeptical? Put it to work. As Master Sha said, “If you want to know if the pear is sweet, taste it.”

I learned a very interesting thing from BehaviorGap about stress. There is a sketch of a Venn diagram on their website that explains the definition of stress, and it’s simply the overlap of uncertainty and important decisions. Here is why I beg to differ.

For me, stress was always defined by many causes, such as money, exams, NYC hustle and bustle, constant job changes, moving, and of course, relationships. That in turn, resulted in temper tantrums, insomnia, exhaustion, high blood pressure, over dose on chocolate and severe mood swings. Basically, I went from one extreme to another. I would work like crazy one week, and burn out the next.

But recently, I came across a quote by Dale Carnegie. He said that “our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.”

Stress is made up by the mind. Much later, after reading books, seeing a shrink, and drinking valeriana root, I realized that I was missing a core step: practicing discipline.

My favorite Life-coach, Talane Miedaner, writes in her book “Coach Yourself To Success,” that a lot of our energy drains come from a billion small things that irritate us. She suggests writing out a list of those things (writing, NOT making mental notes) and thinking of ways to combat them.

So I did just that. I wrote down 40 things that annoy me, from the moldy shower curtain, tangled blinds, to the concept of doing laundry, and everything in between. I realized that there is absolutely nothing beyond my control. Nothing!

Carnegie in “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” wrote a remarkable analogy. He said that a mighty tree has a higher chance of being eaten by small bugs, than being struck by lightning. Small things do consume you. You just haven’t realized it.

There will always be uncertainty, and there will always be important decisions. How you react to them depends on your ability to control and analyze yourself, as well as brainstorm solutions to problems. Reading blog posts won’t fix your life – but taking action will. Go on and write a list of stuff that ticks you off.

Terrance Ross

Sometimes we forget that the best mentorship moments and opportunities happen in social settings among our peers.

I am proud to introduce to you my peer mentor, Terrance Ross, whom I met at the New York Needs You fellowship (due to my lack of participation in college life). If you do not know who Terrance is, that’s bad, but I’m here to tell you. Besides being a rock star, and a promoter of #YOLO (this one I’m not explaining. Just Google if you don’t know what it means), Terrance is also a history maker. Not only is he a NYNY fellow and AIESEC member, assistant business editor  for The Ticker (Baruch’s newspaper), USA Today National College Correspondent, NY Daily News  intern, but he is also an athlete, who took Baruch to #2 spot in cross country among CUNY in 2010. Yep! Terrance is amazing at life.

But the best part is that he loves doing every single one of aforementioned and unmentioned. I was constantly amazed at his ability to do a million and one things all while breathing his passions. He developed them at a young age, when his mom insisted that he keep a journal every day (thanks mom!). Fast forward a few years later, watching CNN war coverage was the first time that he discovered his interest in becoming a war correspondent and changing the world.

Obviously, we are all unique and have our own stories and struggles. I asked Terrance to share his suggestions on seeking passions. “Start doing everything. Only when you let your mind wander and start exploring every avenue will you really find when you are truly happy. Be insanely curious and surround yourself with people who are smarter than you,” he says.

So you get involved and go full force. Say you were never a goal setter because you thought going with the flow was enough. Your dreams are as distant as tomorrow. For some of us, setting high goals is out of this universe. Becoming CEO of a corporation is just too far-fetched.

Terrance believes that disappointment is another cause that deters us from aiming high. Solution: create what he calls a “disappointment board.” That’s right, nip it where it hurts. Put whatever rejection or failure on here. Subconsciously let it go, and find ways to improve yourself. This is quite different from the traditional achievement checklists that some of us keep. And that’s great if you do! Now, diversify your approach!

I did some research on failure and came across a blog that stated “don’t be afraid to fail. Go out there, try out new things, and fail over and over again.” For some of us, it’s fun to try out new things, but for most of us, it’s not fun to fail. When we embark on a project, we don’t celebrate failing at it. In most cases, we are afraid of failure and would prefer to avoid it at all costs. Why? Because it induces negative feelings about ourselves and our abilities. Now what!?

Terrance suggests that this is a wakeup call that you need a mentor. See your college career center for any mentorship opportunities, search for organizations (such as 85 Broads, New York Needs You, SEO, INROADS, MLT, among others), and if you have no luck, create your own prospects. Ask you friends, family, or professors for any referrals.

Step two: “forget the syllabus.” Let’s say you plan to go to law school after your BA. Why not start picking up law books at your local library and reading just a little bit every week? Why wait until you graduate? There is literally nothing stopping you from learning what you would learn in law school before you get there. If you do this a little every week from freshman year on could you imagine where you would be when you graduate? Law school would be easy as cake,” Terrance says. “I think students just need to get the negative attitude out of their minds and act as though they were destined for greatness. You will notice that you probably are.”

TAKE ACTION:

1. Be curious

2. Surround yourself by people who are smarter than you

3. Create a disappointment board

4. Find a mentor

5. Forget the syllabus